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Ode to… Bishop Brian

Studying room

Bard to Bishop

The return of Bling

Behold, there have been darkish instances within the Queendom.
The Pink Empress used awakening magic
and unleashed the military of the night time:
her vile necromancy summoned a legion of zombies
by undead fee prices.
Many strange wizards and elves that 12 months
walked the roads of nationwide significance.
Wizard Leo of Molloy, who poked himself within the eye
together with his magic wand;
Wizard/Baron/Air Commodore Luxon who dug a large gap
as much as the promised land;
and the Tree and Lichen Wizard, Shawrax,
who ran by forest clearings
chased by a buzzing flock of inexperienced unicorns.
However none of those contenders
may summon otherworldly powers
from the Mighty, Brian.
He was identified by many names within the international locations:
Authentic Gangsta, Elvis Tokoroa, The Revenue.
His trials have been many.
A course of from the Auckland area happened,
then there was a trial on the freeway protest,
and lo and behold, a take a look at for careless driving
late mannequin SUV with heated seats;
for it’s written within the E-book, the Sacred Ass
have to be stored cozy through the Finish Occasions.
However Yahweh Brian heeded not the legal guidelines of Rome,
for certainly he’s a regulation unto himself.
So Brian climbed to the highest of the mountain
and preaches to his flock.
Behold, he says: The nice Devil
you might be being muzzled by freedom.
His herd groaned in terror.
Behold, he says: The nice Devil
will present free public well being care.
His flock squealed and wailed desperately.
Behold, says he, the Nice Devil
it disconnects my cellular EFTPOS terminals.
His flock trembled silently on this destruction.
However simply as they have been getting ready to march
within the bazaars and stalls of Newmarket,
an amazing stomping of ft was heard.
A mighty host appeared past the horizon
from all corners of the Queendom.
There have been pink and inexperienced non-binary unicorns;
there have been blue Smurfs from the commercial dairy wastelands;
there have been retailers from Newmarket.
Behold, mentioned Yahweh Brian in shock. I united
the warring tribes of Judah: certainly it is a signal
that I’m the Almighty’s official Wi-Fi hotspot.
However the host approached and so they might be heard
singing the strangest struggle cry:
GET OFF BRIAN! GET OFF BRIAN!
They usually carried cow dung in huge buckets;
and grooved to disco music as they got here;
and so it got here to go that Yahweh Brian
he had a sudden revelation; and purple off
into the sundown on his gold-plated Harley
in an amazing hurry.

Victor Billot had beforehand felt moved to compose odes for such personalities as premier, Louise Wallace, Mike Hosking Clarke Gayford, Brian Tamaki, and Garrick Tremain.

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